Ok, so lately I have come to the realization that my life is just like a Ben Stiller movie. Not one with modeling, or dodgeball (sadly) but one of the ones where everything goes from bad to worse. And then worse-er. Just when you think the situation couldn't get any more ridiculous or out of hand, you end up having to spray-paint a cat. This is my life. Ok, no cats... but you know what I mean.
Seriously. Its gotten to the point that my only real alternatives are to drive off a bridge or just laugh at the pure absurdity of it all.
Thank goodness for good friends with a head on their shoulders who can tell you that no, in fact, you are not losing your mind, and yes, its true, your life is a complete train wreck. I'm so thankful for laughter.
Its all so... absurd?... yes, that's the best word... that it is impossible to even recount. If I started from the beginning (what was the beginning? Birth?) then by the time I finished the story your mind would officially be blown too and then I'd be responsible for what I'm sure would become mass hysteria, or at least mass sympathy.
But, I don't write this as a 'poor me', and I offer the following disclaimers
A. There are most definitely those with a life worse off than mine
B. My life could most definitely be worse off than mine
C. Nobody's life is perfect all of the time
D. Many of the convoluted messes that happen in my life are because of my mistakes and wrong choices
E. Complaining about it solves nothing.
Having said that, sometimes I think I'm being punked. I fully expect a camera crew to pop out from behind the two-way mirror, and I will cover my red face and then shrug and laugh and look straight into the lens and say 'I got punked'. And we will all laugh and I'll pretend to punch Ashton in the arm and then I'll go back to my REAL life which is only occasionally troubled, and once a week maybe ill have a crisis to divert and everything will be... be-a-utiful! The end!
When this will happen, I don't know. But I've got my eye on the waiter... I think he's in on it!
Essentially, it has become as though Murphy's law applies to every single thing that happens in my life... except on a grander scale. Instead of being in the slow lane in traffic, I'm in the wrong city. But as soon as I move, well, the new city is the one with the guy with his flashers on up ahead. Sometimes, its such a disaster that I actually am interested to see what's gonna happen next. Please do not confuse me with someone who enjoys crisis or chaos. I said 'interested', not excited. But when it gets as messy as my life has become, its almost like a challenge for the universe to top itself. And you know what? The universe always does. And sometimes I just laugh. I laugh and laugh and laugh because if I don't I would seriously lose my mind.
But, you know what the best thing about a Ben Stiller movie is? After the whole fiasco is over, there is always a happy ending... and I can't wait for mine. I can't f-ing wait.
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