Shopservations

I was grocery shopping today (yay) and thought the experience deserved a blog. Not because I got distracted reading a friend's blog of Chuck Norris jokes and laughed so hard that I actually upset a few people. I mean, that would make a great blog and all (they were REALLY bothered by my laughter... what's up with that??), but that's not what I'm gonna write about.

I'd like to write about some grocery store observations. First of all:

Safeway thinks that I am a moron.
And, I don't just say this arbitrarily. I have proof! They think they can fool me... but I am on to them. Millions of consumers, like lambs to the slaughter, fall for this trick every day.. but not me! No way! I can't go for that.. no.. no!
Why do they think that I won't notice that the giant-sized product is on sale for the same price as the regular-sized product? It's right there next to it! I can SEE it! Why would I buy the little one when just by having your EXCLUSIVE club card, that you give to everyone without discretion, I can get the ginormous one for the very same price?

I don't actually know what I will do with all of that lasagna. In fact, my son's gonna be upset because he prefers my homemade kind, and the box doesn't actually fit into my side-by-side... but that's not the point. It is the principle of the thing. I have way too much lasagna on principle.

Grocery store displays can be deceptive.
There has to be some law about false advertising. I see a giant banner in a store and I get all excited... and then it turns out it's really just about FOOD. I mean, if you saw this, what would YOU think??

Cart givers are big phonies.
There are three types of people in a store parking lot. There are those who leave the cart right where it is when they are done with it, moving it only so far as to not hit it with their own car when they leave. If it hits someone else's car, well, they can't control that. There are also those who dutifully return carts to the store, or to the cart corral provided in the lot. I try to be one of these people whenever I can. Sometimes, in a hurry, they may also choose to prop the cart precariously over the edge of a curb... but still ensure your car's safety with the two-wheel curb-lock position. It's not as good as the cart corral, but the intentions are pure. But then.. there are those who generously offer their cart to someone entering the store... usually informing them that it's a 'good cart' and that the 'wheels don't squeak' or some other such cart endorsement. They want you to believe that they are doing you a favor. The truth is, they are actually just too lazy to return the cart, but too nice to let it go and watch it roll into your minivan... and so, caught in this parking lot purgatory, they pretend to care whether you get a 'good cart'. And then their soul is free to move on... free to go home with their regular-sized products. Fools! Fools, I tell you.