Let me lay out the scene for you: Single mother, home alone, sick... hopped up on the spiked cough syrup... sits on her sofa watching bridal fashion reality show. Her lazy night alone is suddenly interrupted by thumping outside, and she rushes to the window just in time to see a shadowy figure climbing up and over the upstairs balcony railing on the house directly behind hers. She watches in disbelief as the man tries to open both doors and then begins pacing the porch.
What would YOU think? What would YOU do? I don't think I've been in a situation like that since I was a little kid... when an entire police force, helicopters and all, descended on the house right next door to take down the drug dealer who lived there. We didn't know he was a dealer. We just thought he had a lot of friends. Who only came over for five minutes at a time. Anyway, I remember the fear I felt that night. It was like being IN an episode of Cops, like someone had popped the protective bubble in which I lived, and suddenly all the evil in the world could get in.
The first thing I did tonight when I saw that shadowy figure going over the balcony railing was to rush to my balcony and turn on the light. I think I thought it sent the message: I see you! and I am not afraid! But then, I realized it was illuminating all of the things on MY porch that are worth stealing. So I turned it off. Saying, what? Go ahead and steal what you like, buddy. I'm going back to my tv show? So I turned it back on. Which now says what to this evil lurker? It says, 'How about I just keep flashing this light so you can steal in strobe. Maybe you can do the robot while you're at it.' Sigh.
I think the biggest thing I realized tonight is that I am not prepared for what could happen. What if he had climbed MY balcony? What would I have done first? What should I do first? Tonight worked out just fine. I called the police and they came and checked the guy out. Poor sap just forgot his key and then realized he had locked the sliding door and couldn't get in that way either. False alarm. But what if it hadn't been? I don't think I'm quite as prepared as I could be... or should be. I'm going to guess, though, that my first line of defense should not be the strobing porch light.
1 comment:
When you called me last night while all this was going on, I totally freaked out because I remembered once when someone entered our backyard and Kyle and Erika ran up the stairs freaking out to tell me...Single momdom is hard enough without having to worry about balcony burglars and the like. I'm just glad you're okay. I love you and your disco strobe porch light defense. xo
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