Say it taint so!

So, yesterday, I was reading an article in the newspaper about a new scientific discovery. Apparently, one of the ingredients commonly used in plastics to make them softer has been linked to smaller penis size, incomplete descent of testicles and a shorter "taint" (the space between the anus and genitals) in baby boys.

Ok, I'm really glad they figured this out and all... now they can stop using the chemical, and balls will start dropping like New Year's Eve. BUT, here are my questions: HOW did they conduct this research? Did they find some socially conscious parents who don't use plastic and get to measuring? Did they subject some poor fetus to the chemical and then call back later to see if his balls hung low? "Ok, ma'am, and can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can he throw them over his shoulder..." Ahem, sorry. AND, WHY did they start researching such a thing? "Geez honey, my penis is awfully small... do you think plastic has something to do with it? I'm going to the lab early tomorrow to look into this!"

Luckily, Congress has voted to ban the use of the chemical in children's toys and products. Possibly also in the works: A class-action lawsuit for the poorly hung.