yeah. I thought that would get your attention.
no, seriously.... I'm switching teams. I've been Team Aniston since the breakup from Brad Pitt. All the way. Like, buying the tee-shirt from Kitson, painting my face and tailgating at the divorce proceedings... Team Aniston. All guys are Team Jolie, well, actually, all guys are Team You-Have-Chosen-Wisely-If-You-Chose-Jolie. I get it. She's hot. Like, unreasonably hot. Ridiculously hot. Un-humanly hot. Ok. I get it. But Ive always taken the position that if you've got a happy home with Jennifer Aniston, and you are married.... you don't just go blowing it all just because some girl is un-humanly hot. Rude. Vile. Just don't do it. I'm so disappointed in you, Brad. And more disappointed in you, Angelina. You don't talk to your dad anymore because he cheated on your mom. And now you are the home wrecker.
But last night I watched Mr & Mrs Smith again, and it got me thinking. When you watch the movie, there is something there. There. There is something happening between them that has nothing to do with acting. There is a connection. You can see them falling in love right there on the celluloid. We don't know what Brad and Jen's home life was like. Maybe there was no spark. Maybe the fire had died. And there it was, every day, in his face: Angelina and her un-humanly hotness. And for the record, Brad and his un-humanly hotness. So they start off thinking its going to be an incredibly un-humanly hot movie to film. And then they start talking... they begin to connect. And as much as they'd like to deny it.... they get close. Now, I don't know...this has never happened to me... or, namely, I have never been Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie (sigh). But I have fallen in love. And sometimes you aren't just thinking how wonderful it is... you are trying desperately to find a reason it CAN'T be love. Just in case. But when it is... it just is.
So I started thinking... would it be better for Brad to stay with Jen and be wishing she was Angelina? And Jen wishing he was looking at her the way he looked at Angelina? Is that really better? Just because he married Jen? Couldn't it be like that line in 'The Wedding Planner'? What if Jennifer Aniston was great... but just not as great as something greater? Was it more fair to leave Jen than to stay?
You don't MAKE love happen. You can't. You can interpret feelings as love and go on that for a while, but if it is not love it just isn't. And if it IS love. It just is.
I am not in any way condoning cheating. I was cheated on in wretched, horrible ways and I would never wish that on anyone. All I am saying is that sometimes people rush into marriage or relationships and then when the right one comes along... maybe it is better to end it than to stay where you are. Maybe the fair thing to do SOMETIMES is to walk away.
So I am switching teams. I am no longer Team Aniston. I am not Team Jolie. I am Team-Maybe-Everyone-Ends-Up-Better-Off-In-The-End-Even-If-The-Transition-Is-Difficult. Do you think I could get that on a tee-shirt?
I'm calling Kitson.
10 comments:
I don't know if Kitson makes those tee's. I hear they have good crotched ponchos though.
I understand completely what you're saying. I know that for me personally, if the woman I was with found her idea of happiness with someone else and I wasn't doing it for her, no matter how much it hurt me, I would want her to go where that happiness was. It would hurt like hell, but it would be better than being in a loveless relationship that was a lie.
@ Trev- Damn that Support Group Facebook jive again. You're a segregationist man. Hahaha
@ Jen- I'm a guy so I didn't really follow the whole tabloid thing about their triangle, but I think it was best that it played out the way it did. I think it was hard for Brad (or any person who has half a heart) to make the decision to walk away because no matter what, someone is getting hurt that day. Hard call.
Good post.
I DON'T THINK ANYONE EVER GETS INTO A LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH THE INTENTION TO CHEAT.I THINK IT'S EASY TO BE QUICK TO JUDGE OR TO SPECULATE ON WHAT HAPPENED WITH THEM, BUT ONLY BRAD/ANGELINA/JENNIFER REALLY KNOW THE TRUTH. I WOULDN'T WISH HAVING TO LIVE THAT ANGUISH IN THE PUBLIC EYE ON ANYONE.
I'VE BEEN IN TWO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE. THE FIRST, I THOUGHT I LOVED HER AND WHEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE SECOND (YEARS LATER AND LONG AFTER THE FIRST WAS ALREADY OUT OF MY LIFE), I REALIZED THAT MY FIRST TASTE OF LOVE DIDN'T EVEN HOLD A CANDLE TO THE SECOND. MY POINT IS THAT HAD I STILL HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST RELATIONSHIP AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (THE SECOND WOMAN) ENTERED INTO THE PICTURE AT THAT TIME, I TOO, MAY HAVE MADE THE SAME CHOICE AS BRAD. THAT KIND OF LOVE ISN'T SOMETHING YOU CAN EVER DUPLICATE OR BE DISINGENUOUS ABOUT AND LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO NOT BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
Idk, this is hard for me because I really hate the whole idea of leaving someone you're committed to and believe that when you marry it's supposed to be for keeps. Then again, I'm a realist too and know that sometimes that fairy tale doesn't work out. Can we just talk about shopping at kitson instead? :P
I think we make it far too easy to get out of a marriage. There will always be temptations, we're humans and aren't meant to be with one person. Being faithful is a choice. When you make a vow to someone (before God or a Judge) it is binding. You can re-fall in love with someone. There's counseling, your pastor/rabbi/priest/minister, and other options. Of course there are some situations like spousal abuse and child abuse that you should never tolerate and must immediately end that marriage, but as far as romantic interludes go with others, if you feel that you're on the verge of going down that road I think you owe it to your spouse to be honest with them and try to work it out so that it doesn't happen. Nothing is roses and butterflies all the time. "For BETTER, FOR WORSE,for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health til death do you part" has to stand for something.
Tough call on this one, Jen. Great post though, and very thought provoking. I know it's definitely a situation I hope I'm never in.
@Jen- maybe their marriage was over before all this news broke out and Angie was cast in a bad light. You never know with Hollywood because everyone's got PR agents and people spinning shit left and right.
@Trev- I'm pairing the pic of the tin with your Jiffy.
Jen - Maybe their marriage was over when Brad turned to the dark side, just prior to the filming of the movie? Who leaves "The Jen"? Come on! Jolie is hands down one of the most beautiful women in the world, but there is something WAY dark about her and Brad must have missed it when he kicked Jen to the curb to make babies, adopt babies, save the babies, acquire a baby from every continent with precious, morally upholding Angie, the one with Billy Bob's blood pendant. It's all so seriously twisted. It makes me sad because usually good wins!
I'm with Peanut! Our society today has made light of the bond of marriage, especially Hollywood. They trade partners with each other about as often as they change their underwear. You say these vows for a reason because you are IN love with this person and want to spend the rest of your life loving only this person. You can't picture a life without him/her in it! If you have any doubt, then don't get married! Forsaking all others. Something new will always come along, for as long as you live, but commitment means something in my world. Maybe they are pipe dreams in this day and age? I don't know. I just know that I'm a forever kinda gal and I'd expect the same from the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with.
Nice post, and it's true that you don't MAKE love happen. It happens when it's supposed to. And when it does, there is nothing you can do about it. Not to say cheating is okay, yes, you are right there. But the heart is tough to ignore sometimes. And crushes are crushes - I know this well - but when they begin to flourish into 'I can't sleep at night' and 'I can't eat anymore' and 'I can't do anything without thinking about her', then you know it's something more.
For the record, though, and I am not lying...I don't find Angelina Jolie one bit attractive. ??? I don't know, maybe it's just me. LOL
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