WARNING: The following blog contains detailed descriptions of annoying female behavior, and abandonment of rational thought processes. Discretion is advised.
Today, I hate being a girl. I am packing for a trip to LA. This should be a fun time... trying on my clothes and putting together cute outfits. Oh no, not today! By the third outfit I am revolted. Nothing fits right... nothing looks good. I run to the scale, for actual proof that I have gained a hundred pounds. WHAT!? Two pound LESS than the last time I got on?? That's not possible. UNpossible!
Now clearly, the intelligent, rational thing to do at this point would be to close the closet doors and step away... drink a few glasses of water, and try again tomorrow when I am normal again. But alas, I am lost in a fit of woman-ness and cannot think rationally. I do not stop trying on clothes until I have removed 90% of the clothes from my closet and am completely disgusted by every single part of me.
I haven't gained an ounce? What does that mean? How does the way I see myself change so dramatically when there is no actual change in me? Did my BRAIN get fat? Did my eyeballs get mis-shapen and sloppy? Why does this happen? Clearly, my body has not changed since yesterday when I loved it. Clearly, all of my clothes have not secretly been exchanged.
I think I am more disgusted by my reaction than my wardrobe.
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