I Don't!!

I found a Bride's Magazine left behind by a passenger on one of my flights the other day and it got me thinking about weddings. My dad is a minister, and I have a ginormous family... I have been to a lot of weddings. There are some wedding rituals and habits that drive me crazy:

Don't be a robot. Don't say your vows to the Minister! Are you marrying him? You two lovebirds stand up there repeating the vows like parrots, completely oblivious to each other! Some of the best weddings I have been to are the ones where they are natural... she uses her hankie to wipe his tear away, he whispers a joke that only the two of them can hear and they get the giggles... it's about each other! Sure, there are nerves... but that can be good too! There was the guy who said "With this ring, I thee BED" (much to his embarrassment) or the uncle who shouted "It sure is!" when the minister paused after "Marriage is an institution..." That makes for a good wedding, too. Just relax. Remember why you are there, and don't be so wrapped up in everything being perfect that you miss the point.

It is not a performance... I don't care if you know how to Waltz at your reception... and nobody else does either. One out of a hundred husbands actually wants to do a Viennese Waltz.. the rest of them secretly (or not so secretly) resent having to go to classes and then oaf around a dance floor-- and if you really wanted to start your marriage out on the right "foot" you'd know it would be better to stand completely still in the middle of the dance floor and hold on to each other and really enjoy the moment than it would be to spend the first few minutes as man and wife thinking, 'two, three... one, two, three...' and then glaring at your husband for messing up the steps.

What's up with the 'shoving-the-cake-in-the-face' game? Why is that funny? Did you spend half of the day getting your hair and makeup done so you could spend the evening with cake up your nose? I don't know, maybe it is just me... but I would NOT think that was humorous. Feed me the damned cake- I'll feed you some... they'll take a picture and all of the onlookers will pout because we didn't decorate each other with icing... at least, not at the reception... ;)

I am not a wedding cynic. I totally get it. The only thing I regret more than my previous marriage was the fact that I didn't get a wedding out of it. I don't think it needs to cost a lot to be perfect, and half of the fun is the planning for it. But when you do it, do it right! Do it right for the rest of us who are 'always a bridesmaid...'