I really want to write a blog right now. Problem is, I went to the doctor again and I have a sinus infection, and bronchitis again (yes, a-f-ing-gain!) and he gave me the cough syrup with the codeine so I can not wake up every thirty seconds coughing. I really like this stuff. But, it limits my fine motor function at first, and then moves on to not-so-fine motor function, and then just shuts down the whole damned factory. So, even though the codeine has given me very many interesting things to write about (they seem SO interesting right now), I am having great difficulty typing this. If only you knew how manytimes I have hit the backspace button. Back back back... that doesn't go there... those words make no sense... waht is not a word.
Have you ever invented something? And a few years later there you are at 2am watching TV and someone guy in a bad sweater and English accent is selling your idea. I did that. When I was about eight, I had this great idea to freeze water in little plastic ice cubes so that when it melted it wouldn't dilute your drink. I told my mom, and she did nothing. Except for saying, "Hm, that's a lovely idea." Well, wouldntcha know that just a few years later we were in the mall and oh my goodness... isn't that neat!? Someone made your idea, and is selling it. ACK! It could have been me. It could have been ME!When I was in high school, we had an invention convention every year. One year I invented a device to rewind cassette tapes (yes, cassette tapes). It was a good idea. Except the same year, a kid in my grade invented a new formula for plane de-icing that was bought by Boeing. That's what I get for going to a damned college prep school.
I miss school. How come when we are IN school nobody tells us how when we grow up we would give anything to be forced to sit in a room and just LEARN all day? Well, because we probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway, much like me telling my daughter how much I wish someone would MAKE me take a nap everyday doesn't actually make her want to take one. Someday she is completely gonna get it... and she'll be like, "Mom, I SO get it." and I'll be like, "Totally. Let's go take a nap!"
I have dreams about being in school at least once a week. I haven't taken a class in a year. I think my subconscious is trying to tell me it's time to sign up for classes... or... well, maybe it's just a reminder to pay my student loan bill. hm.
Wehn I was little, I saved up money for what seemed like forever but was probably just 6 or 7 months in order to buy the coolest thing ever. I saved every penny, every nickel, every dime that I could find, earn, scrounge, and/or "borrow". I spent every Saturday sitting across the table from my little grandmother wrapping those coins. She lived with us and... oh, wow... I need to write a whole blog about her one day. Anyway, I used to think she was psychic or something because occasionally (ok, every day) I would end up playing with the money. I would sneak in and open up the lid on the basket where it was kept, and would be so excited building houses and cities out of the rolls of coins like they were lincoln logs. Well, my grandmother knew. Every time. I thought it was because she was omniscient... turns out it was just because the basket was loud, and I was not sneaky enough, and... well, I did it every day. We would gather them together and make a big deal out of going to the bank (where they knew my dad.. because my dad knows everyone... *note to self: another blog subject*) so the people at the bank even made a big deal out of depositing it in my savings account, and then one day I had enough... I withdrew my (insert un-impressive sum here) and headed down to buy them. The coolest thing of all time. The thing I spent every Friday eying in the window and telling my friends I was gonna buy and rebuffing each of their "no way"s with a "oh, yes I am!". I bought the most beautiful pair of perfectly white roller skates with the brightest blue wheels. They sang to me when I put them on. I was in heaven!
What strikes me about this story, is that you'd think that I am now an avid rollerblader, allowing the inline wheels to transport me back to the day I cruised under the black light to the mother of all skating songs... the Hokey Pokey. But sadly, no. If offered a sum of a million dollars to simply put on a pair of skates and stand in them... I... would.... decline. There is nothing in this universe that would get me up on those wheels ever again. The thought of just one jarring fall sends shockwaves up and down my already crooked, pained spine. I don't even think it's funny on Americas Funniest Home Videos. Yes, that's right, sir.. you'd better hope you win tonight's $10,000 grand prize... because it's gonna cost you that in chiropractor bills and traction and ice packs and ibuprofen.
Why don't people follow through with doctor's orders? I would be interested to see a statistic on what percentage of people are believed to complete their full course of a prescribed antibiotic. I'd bet it is pretty low. When people go to the doctor, and he or she says, Do XYZ and see me if there is no improvement.. why do people do X and say it didn't work? Or do X and Z and bitch that the doc is a quack? OR, do XYZ, and see no improvement and not "see (the doc again) if there is no improvement"? We pay a fortune for medical insurance, and then fail to use it to our advantage, pay a fortune for OTC meds/treatments to mask the symptoms, when millions of our taxpayer dollars go to medical research to find actual cures. There are so many physicians able to provide natural, healthy alternatives... that it stuns me how many people will avoid doctors because they don't want to become a 'pill popper' even though they have a cabinet full of medicines they take regularly in order to live with the effects of an illness or injury. I say, let's have a 'make an appointment' week! Go through your physician list and call up all of them. Get your teeth cleaned, get a pap smear and mammogram, get your eyes checked, turn your head and cough, ask your Primary Care doctor about that thing on your foot, call up your chiropractor and get an adjustment!
Oh. My. Gosh. I think the pharmacy micked me... how did this turn into a public service announcement? Ok, I;m really sorry about all this. Just write this off as a "she means well" and please remember that I am currently under the influence of a medication intended to mask the symptoms of a completely curable ailment. I think it's time to take my hypocritical little ass to bed.
Read two of these and call me in the morning.
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